A scroll through my picture folder

I was recently scrolling through pictures on my phone and came across one of a stuffed toy, Elmo, in my window. I remember putting Elmo in my window upstairs for the kids in the neighborhood.

It took seeing the photo to remind me of the early days of our “new normal”. I scrolled some more. A vase of flowers I ordered for myself to make my house more cheerful and to support my favorite local florist. Then, I saw a few funny memes about quarantine that I saved and shared early on just for levity. At the time, I thought this would be a very temporary situation. In fact, I was enjoying the slower pace into which I was suddenly thrust.

Me picking out our new puppy, a boat day with family, my first social distance gathering with my besties in the parking lot as we sat in the backs of our vehicles (it had been a month), my mom, diagnosed with liver cancer (a metastasis from her breast cancer) in April, Mother’s Day, a beach day with kids and grand kids, new puppy comes home.

Then, June comes around and we see a small opening. I run like a horse out of the gate to jump on a plane for a getaway with girlfriends, what a glorious and wonderful time to have respite and fun with them out West.

Then I am home again, the virus spreads like wildfire, more so than when everyone was working from home. People I know are getting sick, my immediate family member calls to tell me that they have tested positive. They quarantine for the required two weeks. My sons birthday, no celebration this year. Same son has an accident two days later, breaks (shatters) his wrist requiring surgery. I see those pictures too. I scroll some more, my new puppy is either making me insane or keeping me sane, the jury is still out. We purchase a 5th wheel to keep on my sisters property to be closer to mom every weekend. Scroll some more, our wedding anniversary, no trip this year. Family dinner, grand kids playing and swimming, I love these memories. Then, another family member has novel corona virus. More stress, more worry.

SIX MONTHS! Six months of life have come and gone in these photos. The beautiful, the sad, the stressful, the painful, the ridiculous, the beautiful again, the happy, the laughter, the tears, and the mundane. Some days it feels so much longer than six months. Some days not so much. I am so over it, as I am sure you are too. And yet, I realize everyday, I am one of the lucky ones, I was able to keep working and keep my income. My loved ones who contracted the virus aren’t hospitalized or worse. My children live in town with my grandchildren, my parents are close, I can visit them any time. Sure, we all distanced physically early on, but after the virus lingered on, we knew that was not sustainable for our family. One thousand and one times I told myself to walk upstairs to write a blog to say something inspiring or funny or helpful. What can one say in the middle of what six months ago was unimaginable? I don’t know how to get through a pandemic and I certainly do not want to be so tone deaf as to say, “look at these pretty shoes” or “try this wonderful shampoo”, “oh let’s cook this wonderful dish”, while others are hurting. Then I ask myself ….at what point do I (we) start to act and be normal again? After all, according to my picture folder life is speeding by no matter how I feel or don’t feel, or what I think or don’t think. Maybe I will be inspired to write more blogs soon or maybe I won’t. Who knows, I am taking it one day at a time, slow and steady, one day at a time.

My friends my prayer is that you are well and that your family is well. Not just physically, but emotionally, and spiritually, too.

Xoxoxo

Queenie