Dear Twenty – Five Year Old Me

You are going to be okay. I know you have your doubts now, but trust me, you make it. I am so proud of your bravery, persistence, courage, and your strength. I wish you knew how much you are going to need those characteristics of your personality over the next thirty years. If you did, you wouldn’t see them as flaws that you need to temper.

Your intuition is good, trust it, You are going to use it often. You will find that your intuition is in large part the discernment God gives you about people and situations. You will only learn this when you start communicating with Him often.

Soon, your life is going to implode, there will be carnage left in your path. It’s going to hurt, really hurt, you, and those you love most. You will lose friendships and relationships. Breathing will be difficult at times. Slowly, lovingly, God will pick you up and help you put your life back together. You will learn that He is the only anchor you really need in any storm. He will be your source for strength and true contentment. Trust Him completely.

During the coming storms of life you will find that your parents, siblings, and best friends never waiver in their steadfast love for you. Pay attention to those people. They are the ones who matter most.

You will learn the meaning and act (verb) of forgiveness, mercy, and grace. You will learn to extend them to yourself and others.

You will fall down a thousand times, a few of those times will take the wind right out of you, other times, the fall just leaves a slight bruise to your soul or ego. Take heart though, you will stand back up a thousand and one times. You will not give up, it’s not in you. You know that getting up again is the only option.

You will find within yourself an inner strength that you don’t yet know you possess. Right now, you think that tough exterior is what you need to survive, it is not, you will figure that out soon enough. Life will throw you some hard and painful events and situation. They won’t break you.

You are going to get married again. You will be much wiser, but not on the day you say I do, that takes time. You will have great respect, love, and devotion to each other. You will be more in love with him after 25 years than you were the day you married him. He will be your person, your greatest cheerleader, your confidant, protector, lover, and friend. It won’t be easy, it takes a lot of work. It will be so worth it.

You will blend your families. He will bring into the marriage two children that the two of you must blend with your two children . You will only be 30, them 16 and 13, yours 9 and 7. The six of you will go about learning what this new normal looks like. It will be challenging for them and for you and at times you will want to give up. Today, those same children are 41, 37, 33, and 31. You will consider your “bonus” children your best buddies, you will claim them in conversation as your own, you will love them deeply. You won’t be able imagine your life without them. They will teach you so much about yourself, life, forgiveness, grace, and about love.

Your sweet baby boys are grown men now. They are still the two greatest accomplishments you have ever made. They will remain your heartbeat. Each of them will grow up to be wonderful, amazing human beings. They will continue to be completely different in personality. All of those dreams you have for them today, God will answer in ways you never thought possible. Those daughters-in-law you have been been praying for since the day they each were born, God is going to blow your mind. They are each beautiful, smart, and perfect for your boys. and that bonus son I mentioned gives you an awesome daughter-in-law too. These women are good mama’s and give you lots of grandbabies. Oh you are going to be so blessed.

At the birth of each grandchild you will be astonished at your ability to carry so much love in your heart for yet another tiny human being. Watching your children with their children will be the single most joy filled moments of your life. You will find that love is not based on shared DNA. Yet another lesson your children teach you.

In just a few short years you will meet a tribe of women that you will do life with. They will sustain you. Their families will become your family. You will pray, eat, celebrate, mourn, comfort, and travel with each other for the next 25 years. If you could bottle and sell the laughter with your friends you would be a very rich woman. You will thank God for them daily. You will have many friends and relationships that are important to you.

You will have a career. I know, it’s not even on your radar today. It will find you, you will be good at it. It will give you confidence while at the same time challenging you in ways you can’t imagine yet. It will grow you so much as a person. Some of your best friends will be found through your work.

Your parents get older more quickly than you think they will. They will have serious health issues. Your role with them will reverse in many ways. It will be an act of worship and an honor to help take care of them. Watching them as they go through these challenges will be incredibly painful. You will cherish every moment with them.

Your fifty-fifth birthday is here. Your skin has wrinkled, your knees seem to have fallen a little, and your body is soft in places that are now hard. Your face is older, your hair grayer. You have some scars, a few of them you are thankful for, they saved your life, other just taught you a lesson.

You’re going to wonder how thirty years went by so quickly. You will stop and do some soul searching and reminiscing over the past three decades. You will laugh and cry and be amazed by all of it.

Yes, you are going to be okay. You are going to be happy. You are going to be grateful. You are going to be content and joyful. You are going to love your life.

Happy 55th birthday,

Me