Hi friends,
How are you these days? I’m slowly coming back to feeling like writing a blog post again, I’m starting to feel like I might have something worth sharing. What a crazy and weird time we’ve lived through these two months. I don’t know about you, but if I never want to hear the terms new normal, social distancing, stay at home orders, self-quarantine, wash your hands, don’t touch your face, and toilet paper again. However, it is something we will be hearing for a long time.
While I’ve worked every day since this crisis started the main change for me was the physical interaction with my clients. The pace has been different, the asks less demanding, and the words kinder. I’ve worked from home some but like being in the office better. There is only one other person there and we are in separate rooms. What I have enjoyed is my time at home when I am not working. I’ve spent more time in my yard, my pool, and on my front porch than I have in the entire three years we’ve lived in this home. I’ve so enjoyed watching my neighbors and children walking, biking, playing, and enjoying family time. It reminded me of my childhood. When did we lose that? When did we stop being outdoors with our children and families? Why did it take a global pandemic to notice that it was gone in the first place?
Had my calendar stayed full, I would have missed it all. Yes, I would have spent it on good and fun things like watching three of my grandsons play t-ball three to four nights a week, or volunteering at festivals, attending festivals, going to church, going out to meet friends, going to events, going to dinner or some other fun activity. In and of themselves ALL GOOD THINGS! But are so many events and so many good things the best things? I’ve started to believe that no, they are not. Not only are they not the best thing, they aren’t the necessary thing in the quantities in which I had put on my calendar for this spring and summer.
The day I sat down to erase all of the things from my calendar was surreal to me. I erased one activity after another. The t-ball games, the weekend plans, the work meetings and schedules, the parties, the responsibilities. I sat and looked at the pages and thought to myself, what now? How will I ever fill this time? I can’t see my grand-kids, my kids, my parents, or my friends. What now? I didn’t feel like writing, it just wasn’t the time to offer any advice or tips and tricks. I certainly had no tips or tricks on how to get through a pandemic! I rarely put on make-up, my roots were an inch long, my nails were, well, let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. So truly, what now?
I sat in this wondering, waiting and what I found during this time was that I was able to breath, really stop, and breath. I have always been a reader but life had gotten so busy that I stopped reading much because I could never find the time. Or, if I did read a book, I would fall asleep after a few pages because I was exhausted. So, I read, a lot. I love to piddle outside. I wouldn’t call myself someone who loves to “work” in the yard, but I like to water my plants, pull a few weeds, and enjoy my flowers and plants. We pay someone to do those things for us so pre- COVID, I was lucky to catch a glimpse of the beds before driving in to the garage and shutting the door when I got home…. usually after dark. I like to walk, so I took long walks around the neighborhood. I love the outdoors at night, so I sat on the back porch and listened to the whippoorwills and watched the lightening bugs. My husband and I took long drives around the neighborhood on the golf cart, we met neighbors we had never even seen, we listened to the neighborhood kids laugh and play, we went to bed early, we rested, really rested. I had happy hour zoom calls with my girlfriends. I video chatted with my family and did the best I could to stay connected. Every moment wasn’t perfect. I cried much more often than I ever do, I missed my kids and grandchildren like you would a missing limb. I missed my parents and friends. I was worried about my kid’s jobs and the stress they have been under trying to home school, work from home, and their reduced incomes. I was sad that people were dying. I missed being able to get my hair done, my mani/pedi treatments, and luxuries that I take for granted. Then, I remembered that for the first 30 years of my life, I painted my own nails, and if I had to, I could color my own hair. (thankfully, that did not happen). I’ve recently been able to spend more time with my people; it is like oxygen to a dying person when I am in their presence. I hope I never take their physical presence for granted again. I’ve been able to go to a few customer locations and interact with them face to face; I hope I never grumble about not wanting to keep an appointment again. I haven’t gone to a restaurant yet, but when I do, I will look at the server with renewed appreciation and attention. When I get a pedicure, I will not keep my face in my phone catching up on work emails, I will relax and enjoy every touch of the massage. When I get to spend time with my friends, I won’t allow myself to think about the calls that need returning or the emails that need a response or the laundry that needs to be done. I will soak up their laughter and love like I’m dying of thirst. At least that is my prayer, that I and you, will not come out of this unchanged. Thank you for listening to my ramblings. I have some ideas for new post. If there is something you would like to have me research to share, please let me know. I will be traveling, getting beauty treatments, cooking, and shopping again really soon. Drop an email at queeniecook@gmail.com.
Thanks. We can all relate.